2 in 1 Guide of Restyling & Taking over the World
by Shaari
Summary: A bored Shinigami with too much time in their hands... Aims: Appearance Reimaging & World Domination. Can you guess who wrote it? One-shot.


**A/N: This one-shot is for xFeedMePoisonedCandyx's fanfiction ****'211 Things A Bright Shinigami Can Do'. Some credit goes to her for inspiring this as does 2 other of my friends who are big Bleach fans too! However, it's mainly due to the Soul Society arc in the Bleach Anime :P *bows, hondoni arigatou!!!  
**

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2 in 1 Guide in Restyling your Image and Taking over the World

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There's a secret to every hero's success, I didn't realise this until recently. Recently, being 100 years ago, I was inspired by a blond guy who was a complete newbie and got beaten up by his fukutaichou every five seconds. I thank him. But for all those aspiring ones out there, I've decided to write this useful guide in restyl – just read the title. You better thank me because I've stayed up until midnight to finish this; I've adopted this habit ever since that little girl became my temporary amusement factor.

Part 1 – Restyling your Image

It really doesn't matter what you look like to begin with because if you follow these steps closely, you will _definitely _become attractive and even more charismatic like me.

**N.B. These steps must be followed in order to go onto Part 2 – Taking over the World.**

1) Plot a spectacle, a big one. One in which the whole of Soul Society will know and remember about. **HINT:** An execution is ideal.

2) Get sidekicks with eyesight problems. This allows you more freedom for error. They also may provide you with a good source of distraction while you prepare yourself for the final Restyle Showing.

3) Make sure that everyone sees your drastic Restyle. Get a podium. A Menos Motor Powered Platform (TM) is optional.

4) Wear glasses before the Restyle Showing so that once they come off (part of the restyle) your image will be extravagantly more stunning than with the glasses. During your Restyle Showing, crush the glasses as you will no longer need them. This creates the _Cool_ and _Bad Ass_ looks.

5)** ALWAYS** keep hair gel in your haori pockets (not hakama as this takes a longer transition). This is for unexpected emergencies. Practice as often as possible to achieve the _Ultimate Hold minus a bit of the fringe _effect without a handy mirror.

6) Aim for a theme. **E.g.** if you choose the Spanish Superman, try and recreate the Clark Kent to Superman transformation. Flying is optional.

7) A portable wind machine is essential as they create the _Windswept _and _Uniquely Interesting_ looks. This must be placed out of sight at all times as these looks should be under the _Your Own Natural Charms_ section. **HINT:** It also makes your haori billow, which creates the supreme effect. However, care must be taken in hiding the wind machine inside your hakama if done.

Part 2 – Taking over the World

This is the most time consuming part, stretching over at least 100 years therefore patience is needed. However, this is the most enjoyable part of the guide.

1) Practice having hatred for those with blond or ginger hair. Ignore gender.

2) Besides Bankai achieving then hiding it, practice the 'black box' to trap any giant unwanted stray foxes.

3) Steal Sphere with Sleepy Swirly Potion (SSSP) in from the perv man with cat and stripes obsession.

4) Your sidekicks will come in handy now as they kill time. Frame one of them for the amusement factor of Shinigamis, Humans and Quincy(s)'s expression when they see that you are actually the charismatic criminal mastermind.

5) Along the way (from charisma), you may end up with some annoying 'idolisers' or 'subordinate'. Do not fear, play with them. **E.g.** become his/her idol by saving them then fake your own death by framing your handy sidekick. **HINT:** Laughs will ensue and hence kill off some of the 100 years worth of time.

6) Before the Restyle Showing, **KILL** annoying subordinate. This is essential as slaughtering may involve blood which will definitely ruin your Restyle if done after.

7) Recruit Spanish/French, whore-like or blood-thirsty cronies and restyle them to your taste with the SSSP. **HINT:** Make only one crony that doesn't fit the two categories mentioned, must be German.

8) Give them matching outfits. Outfits must be revealing ones for the hot guys or girls **E.g.** top half of breasts showing for girl, chest covering only open tops for guy. Colours of the outfits must be opposite to the Shinigami uniform **E.g.** more white than black. Give them themes **E.g.** cutlery, evil kitten, depression, two wet balls etc.

9) As well as outfits, their hair can be dyed into interesting exotic colours to spice things up **E.g.** pink, ice blue etc. Keep the main hair colour black. **OR** try and find cronies with natural exotci hair colours. This is optional.

10) Number tattoos are essential for your prettiest top 10 cronies. The tattoos **MUST** be in unexpected places **E.g.** the tongue.

11) Constantly remind your cronies that you made them pretty until they add '-sama' to the end of your name. If they refuse, blow up some reiatsu.

12) Get a less annoying but faithful subordinate. Try to make them as opposite as possible to your previous annoying subordinate **E.g. **gender, personality etc.

13) Make sure this subordinate only knows two insults **E.g.** 'trash' and 'woman'. This is optional but brings about the much needed amusement factor when they suffer to think up new insults.

14) Get a spiny chair. Twirl to your heart's desire when alone. Do **NOT** let sidekicks or subordinates see.

15) Exercise your power by holding regular meetings achieving nothing except tormenting your subordinates. This is another time-killer. Whilst holding the meeting, enjoy yourself. Watch them chop each other's limbs off or kill each other. Have your bored sidekicks join in too. **HINT:** This is a posture note. Make sure you are sitting on a high platform, in a chair with one hand supporting your chin. An expression of constant amusement must be worn at all times.

16) Get your faithful subordinate to kidnap a rejected blond/ginger woman. Playing with captive is optional however if you decide to go forward with this, make sure your 'favourite' subordinate is there as he/she most likely is infatuated with this 'woman'. Afterwards, she must be locked away with your under-compensated-compared-to-yourself but faithful subordinate as captor.

17) If crossing worlds, make sure you have a dual-function entrance and exit that can be summoned with a 'tap-in-the-air' gesture. It **MUST** make a long 'zip' sound when it opens and an echoing 'screech' sound when it closes. It must also appear in high places only, never in walls.

18) **ALWAYS** justify your actions in an intelligent voice with clever plot lines. Keep patronising to the maximum.

19) When you are about to take over the world, make sure you target **ONE **town out of a possible billion. Leave your faithful subordinate behind and take only the top 3, the other 7 should be dead or in the process of dying, including (if you're lucky) the faithful subordinate.

20) **DO NOT FIGHT**, your Restyle will be to waste if this happens. Let your remaining cronies and sidekicks do the fighting, make them stretch the fights out.

It's worked for me…

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**Hope u enjoyed it! Anyone up for reviews? *blinks innocently  
**

**Shaari**


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